THE BIBLICAL MEASUREMENT SYSTEM
The Bible: God’s own word. It is the only thing we need, the only thing our souls truly crave. Then why, as free Americans, do we force secular Real World Constructs on our already tortured souls? Why do we still use such Arcane methods of measurement, isn’t it time we got rid of conventional units of measurement.
We try to live our lives for God. In everything we do, we try to praise God. Therefore, should we not attempt to give glory to God in something as trivial as measuring things?
For too long has God been left out of the measurement system. Now it is time to put God back into something he created, measurement. To do this, in our attempt to do everything for God, we have decided to make the Biblical Measurement System.
The Biblical Measurement System measures not only distance but it measures mass, time, temperature, volume, and other things that are measurable but not yet conceivable. All of our measurement needs can be satisfied through this system, which has, after preliminary testing, proved to be far more efficient and useful than modern and postmodern methods of contemporary measurement.
The units of measurement are based solely upon the Bible, particularly the standard red NIV Bible found in the pews of Immanuel Lutheran Church. This base unit puts the most Holy of books in this world into a major aspect of our life. This helps us to put God at the forefront of our lives, and allows us to compare the measurable aspects of our lives to the immeasurable aspects of God.
In the coming months Lombardo Barnyard will be contacting our Michigan congressmen and government officials including Jennifer Granholm. We aim to reach the minds and souls of these influential individuals in order that they might help change this secular Real World construct. For too long has the political-republo-demo-demonspawn, the American Government, has been holding back the ideals of God from measuring His own creation. It’s time we take action, pass some legislation, and stop this governmental religious persecution.
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