Biblical Measurement System (BMS) Pamphlet

This pamphlet was made for a protest Lombardo Barnyard did at the Capital Building of Michigan. Hard to remember, but after a failed attempt, this we passed about at least one, i think.

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If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

1 Peter 4:11 (NIV)

The Bible tells us that we should glorify God though all things. Even through something as simple and commonplace as measurement God can and should be glorified. Therefore, Lombardo Barnyard has devised a system of measurements of distance, weight, area, volume, and time to help us to keep God in all that we do.

The Biblical Measurement System focuses on the only Truth we as followers of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior have: the Bible. By using the standard NIV[1] Bible published by Zondervan (pictured on the front of this pamphlet) as our principle physical measurement benchmark, anything can be measured.

It is important to understand that this physical earth can be measured using the physical Bible, but the actual value of the Word of God is as immeasurable as God Himself.

Distance 

The measure of distance will no longer rely on standard or metric (man-made) systems and units.

The standard unit of Biblical Measurement is called the Bible, which represents the distance from the bottom edge of the cover to the top edge.

The next smaller unit of measuring distance is called the Depth, referring to the depth of all pages within the Bible, including the front and rear covers. A Depth is the distance from one side of the spine of the Bible to the other.

The smallest unit of distance in the Biblical Measurement System is the Chapter, Verse. This term symbolizes the thickness of pages within the Bible, starting in Genesis and going through Revelation.[1] One uses Chapter, Verse by starting with Genesis 1 and adding additional pages, in order, as necessary.

 For example, the thickness of a credit card is measured by looking at how many combined pages of the Bible are equally as thick as the credit card. It turns out that a credit card’s thickness is equivalent to the number of pages between Genesis 1 and Genesis 31:4.  Therefore, a credit card is Genesis 31:4 thick. A 30 gigabyte iPod is exactly 1 Chronicles 8:25 thick.

 To combine the three units of distance (Bibles, Depths, and Chapters, Verses) in order to measure something that is not exactly one Bible or one Depth long, but is longer than Revelation 22: 21, the following system may be used:

 Number of Bibles, Number of Depths; Chapter, Verse

 If something was 4 Bibles, 2 Depths, and 1 Timothy 1:3 long, it would be written as such:

 4, 2; 1 Timothy 1:3

 This would be read: “Four Bibles, two Depths, First Timothy One: Three long.” 

The distance from Alpena, MI to East Lansing, MI is 1,683,587, 3; 2 Kings 9:1.

 Weight/Mass

 The standard unit of measurement of weight or mass for the Biblical Measurement System is the Bible. One Bible is directly proportional to how much one Bible weighs. This can be broken down further, similar to the Chapter, Verse distance measurement, only in terms of how much the pages weigh, instead of how thick they are. This unit is also referred to as Chapter, Verse. The notation for weight measurements is the same as that for distance, only without Depths.

 For example, a 2-liter of Dr. Thunder weighs 2 Bibles, Job 3:8 (2, Job: 3:8), while the popular Arnold Schwarzenegger documentary Pumping Iron on DVD weighs only Judges 5:29.

 Area

Area can be measured by using Bibles x Bibles, or Bibles². Atmospheric pressure can be measured using Bibles per Bibles².

Volume

 Volume is measured according to the amount of liquid (red wine) displaced by one Bible. This amount of displaced liquid equals one Bible. Chapter, Verse is also used for measuring volume, according to how much the pages displace.

 One can of Jumex™ contains about James 4:2 of liquid. Unleaded gasoline costs approximately 30¢ per Bible.

Time

The 24-hour system of time in which we currently live has become obsolete and, at times, forgets to honor our Father. Current time measurements focus on mean solar time. We worship the Son, not the sun. The Biblical Measurement System measures time using a unit called the Bible. One Bible equals the time it takes to completely read through the entire Bible.

To keep track of time, all clocks or watches will constantly be reading through the Bible. They will display which verse is being read, and from that one will be able to discern which book and chapter that verse is from, and subsequently what time it is. At the end of each Bible the clock will automatically go back to the beginning (Genesis) and begin reading again.

Days, which will now be called Bibles, will be divided into the 66 books of the Bible. Each Bible will be longer than a day, but bodies will certainly adjust. This system of time will also eliminate unnecessary time zones and daylight savings time.

Time is read by saying the book, chapter, and verse displayed on one’s clock. By recognizing the passage being read, one will be able to determine when to eat, when to sleep, etc.

When one sees “and ugly and painful sores broke out on the people who had the mark of the beast and worshiped his image,” one will know that it’s Revelation 16:2 and it’s time to get ready for bed. When one’s alarm clock goes off reading aloud “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth,” one will know that a new Bible has begun, and it’s time to get up.

[1] New International Version

[1]Note: Chapter, Verse does not include any pages before Genesis (publishing information, prefaces, alphabetical lists, etc.) nor does it include any pages after the end of Revelation (any maps or tables of weights and measures).