Kill the basement handout

For those of you aware of the Lombardo Barnyard story, you may remember the Kill the Basement event. It was a hard time for us all. Here is what the handout for the event said.

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(page 1)

In Loving Memory of

The Basement

We will remember you always.

The hands of the witnesses must be the first in putting him to death, and then the hands of all the people. You must purge the evil from among you.

Deuteronomy 17:7

 

(page 2)

SHAPING:

         Without the Basement I doubt I would be who I am today. Since the beginning of the Basement I have never been alone. Life 

has always been one big party, not a boozing orgy of manifest destiny and divine right, but a happy gathering of heart and soul. From the moment I said the Basement was “always open,” the doors became a conveyer belt of new faces and revolving emotion. Hundreds have been here; it has been through these gathering, these reconnecting of lost spirits, that the world has been changed.

         Look around, look at yourself, why are you, you? 

How has the Basement affected you? Did laugh, for the first time? Did you meet a love here? Did you release yourself of secrets you couldn’t even tell God? Was your soul touched? To some this place is just a room, to others this place, this cinderblock basement is the most holy of holies, the place only the High Priest can go, the place only entered once a year, the place where God dwells.

         This simple basement has cemented the ideals of Alpena, a new idea of a utopian society. It was through the Basement that people were able to craft, harness, and transmit this utopian view of society. The Basement has been the citadel from which the very idea of Alpenan utopia has grown.   

The Basement has changed us all, whether you know it or not.

(page 3)

SKIMMING:

         It is time to wipe our hands of the sins of the past. To long have we wallowed in our past and it is now time to look to the future. For our entire lives, our eternity, we have been anchored down by a fundamental misconception, an idea grown out of our very being. There is a need in all of 

us for contact, friendship, and touch. The Basement, this universal hangout, has changed our hearts and minds. It has fundamentally shifted reality as we know it.

         Looking back on its beginning I look at the heart of its creator: a Sinner, a boy who wanted friends, a malcontent, someone who chose people over God. From the heart of a sinner came a project, a place, a room in which even the dead can live.

         I look at what I did, and I wonder. When people were down, when people were hurt, mentally, emotionally, when one needed someone, anyone, the basement was there. The basement was a tangible manif

estation of a new life, it brought new life. Yet, I still wonder, without the basement, how things would be different. Would it be for the better? When we die, will your souls thank mine, or will they cry next to my beaten remains.

         It is time to scrape off our disease, remove our yoke, and forget our past; a new future is budding. No matter what our tears whisper, the death of the Basement is the beginning of another. Hopefully, the new

 basement isn’t the basement of Hell.

         Here, in a simple basement, a hole, a pit of disease, much has grown: life, utopia, and a social movement. Here, in a simple basement you will see death.

 

Nick Vandermolen

12/31/05

(page 4)

 

           Check These Out:

 Lombardo Barnyard’s new book…Coming soon.

“Lombardo Barnyard: Year One”

Michigan Mythos: Series Two

APRIL 2006

www.Anathallo.com 

www.Jasonpolan.com

www.Rickboven.com

E-mail Nick Vandermolen @

Nick.vandermolen@gmail.com

E-mail Lombardo Barnyard @

Lombardo.Barnyard@gmail.com

Vandermolen's Bio

Sweetest bio ever.

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Nicholas A. Vandermolen, uses the words gay, butthole and wiener when ever he wants. He is so cutting edge. Other people are buttholes.

The Evils of Modern Society: Cell Phones, abandoned project.

I don't even remember writing this but at some point i was against cell phones. Weird. Times used to be different, didn't they. I don't think it was finished but here it is.

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Cell phones, college campuses poisons gift to the gifted youngsters of many high students.

            Look around college campuses of today and you will see a disturbing trend. You will notice most of the people walking are on cell phones. Long gone are the days when people will walk to class and talk to another person. Long are the days when people would listen to there favorite band on there portable walk man. Welcome to the days when mechanic, brain damager and conversation devastates is I the pocket of 90 percent of people. Welcome to a world when a seven minute conversation is interrupted three times by a cell phone. Say hello to walking zombies, people who are disconnected from reality.

            Today every one from high class entripenewer to low class back woods tree people all are using one of the greatest technological advances in the form on communication in the last one hundred years. They are using cell phones. In the pockets and back packets of over 90 percent of this nations people is a ticking time bomb of fast talk and fake conversation. Almost everyone has one, how can it be bad, how can it be so harmful to this generations mental stability. It is. It is destroying this nations conversation and oration skills at an astounding rate. This is one of the main reasons why world are full of discontent and depression. Yet, it is never called out, no one points the finger at there cell phone, because then they would be pointing the finger at them selves.

            Ten years ago if you walked past a group of people walking some where they would most likely be talking to each other. Now a days they would al be talking. Not to each other though, they would all be talking on their own cell phone. Each babbling sub-consciously about nothing. There is no conversation here. There is no meaning in there words. There is only lonely ness. On a sub concise level they know they are lonely, why do they walk together, to feel like they are having a real conversation, to feel like they aren’t disconnected from reality. Using a cell phone can cause a true form of disconnection from reality; it’s about the only thing real about it.

            Many people argue that today’s modern world is to busy, we are to on the go, because of that we need cell phone so we can call re mates and friend for the road, and form the sidewalk. It may be true that people are on the go in the this fast paced work a-day world we call America, but is it true that you have to have meaningless conversations on a meaningless interface. People would argue that they call people on there cell because they care about them. Let us examine this statement. They call them because they care, but they do it in a meaningless and disrespectful manner. That’s like giving someone birthday cake, but when they bite into it, there crap inside. IF a person really cared to call them, they would set aside time for them, they would go into a dark room and call them, or even see them in person. Calling a person from your car on a cell phone says to a person they you remember them, but don’t care enough to use your precious time on them.

            The biggest evil of cell phones is there disconnection form reality phenomenon. This is a natural and fact of an unnatural devise. When people are on there cell phone they lose touch with everything around them, they stop hearing the outside world, they stop seeing there surroundings. When you see a college student walking to class talking on a cell phone, realize that at that moment they are not there, what you see is a zombie, an empty soulless vassal. One time I was with a friend at a hardware store. We asked an employee for help, he brought us to the location of are need part and as he was about to show us his cell phone rang. Like an autonomic conditioned response that could only have been taught by the devil, he stop mid sentence and whipped out his cell phone leaving us lost as to where to find the part. With in seconds he was disconnected from reality, he was lost in the fake, half hearted conversation. He was disconnected from reality. To test are hypostasis, my friend walks up to the man, and no more them a foot from his face he says, “I touch little boys.” The employee didn’t flinch, he didn’t stop, he didn’t notice. At that moment the cell phone had his soul. In my life I have seen this phenomenon many times. I have seen it happen in class, I have seen it happen during arguments, and I have seen everywhere. The phenomena of leaving life for a simple electronic beep.

            It interesting to see how people react to the metaphysical slap that is answering your phone when you’re in a conversation with someone else. Lets say two people are standing next to each other talking, both standing face to face. Suddenly a cell phone rings, the conversation instantly stops. The person with the phone begins to talk on the phone, what happens to the other person. The other person stands there, as if they were in line to talk to a king. The stand there face to face with the person who just shafted them and the person on the phone doesn’t even see the sad face of the person directly in front of them, because they are so disconnected from reality. They wait to finish there simple conversation, for what, an electron devise that emulates the voice of another. The person on the phone chose the cold, soulless mechanical conversation over a real flesh and blood. When the phone conversation is done they resume the conversation, but it’s hard to pick back up and the moment is gone. That cell phone call may have just broken an opening that was needed to start a friend ship.

            As you have read this you may see a paradox. On one had a conversation on a cell phone is empty and meaning less. But on the other hand a person on a cell phone is disconnected from reality; they are out side of this world, because they are so focused on the conversation. Now it is true that they left this world to focus on the conversation and it is true that a conversation on a cell phone is empty and meaning less. The reason is because a person on a cell phone is incapable of having a meaning full conversation, considering the circumstances. Now it is true the people on the phone are thing there hardest to make it meaning full but since it is impossible they still try hard to make it real. It is as if they are grabbing at the wind. It’s like seeing a ghost, you can almost see it, but you can’t touch it. This is the phenomena of a cell phone, you are so close so you try hard to make it real, but it can never be real, only empty and fake.

NOTES

AQUINUS – God made everything thus everything can be used for good. (look up)

Reclusive Genius

A letter i wrote to Michigan State University board of admissions when i was trying to transfer there from Central Michigan University.

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Nicholas A. Vander Molen

 “Reclusive Genius”

            In the last year and a half since finishing high school I have become more of a man then a child, I think I have grown a lot in the last year and a half. Since Finishing high school I have started my own business, held a fashion show in which my cloths were shown, joined a movement based art collective, and increased my writing skill by what I think is at least ten-fold.

            The business I started is no joke. We are a real and profitable business. The business was started this summer by Nick Jarmuzewski and my self. The name of the business is, “Lombardo Barnyard.” We have had it officially registered with the state and everything. We are the 7^th chakra; we are dedicated to quality et cetera. Last summer we held a dance party, the party was sponsored by Pepsi. Also, the fashion show I held was in conjunction with my business. As of now “Lombardo Barnyard” is developing merchandise which will hit the market in the first quarter of 2005.

            I have also held a fashion show since finishing high school. I held the “Reduce, Reuse, Recycle: Back to School Fashion Show,” earlier this year at Central Michigan University. Each segment of clothes I designed and created. They were based upon a different aspect of back to school life. The fashion show was a success; it was featured in CMlife, the local newspaper on campus. In the article I was called a reclusive genius.

            The fashion show I put on help arouse the creative talent with in many CMU artists. These CMU artists, with their newly discovered love for art, formed a movement based art collective called, Fonikks. I am a member of Fonikks. So far at Fonikks we have done a project that I came up with. The project was a choreographed ninjitsu battle that happened in very specific points around campus. The battle was once again featured in CMlife. Fonikks is now working on a creative dance piece. The piece should be performed in two to three weeks.

            I have also increased my writing skill by what seems like ten fold. Since leaving high school I have written a massive screenplay. I would have never though this possible when I was high school. In one of my classes this year I wrote a poem that changed the way my class is run. The poem was a critical look on the way the work-shopping process was run in class. I also recently wrote a 20 page story in 3 days. People think the story is incredible funny. I have written so many things since coming to college, some for school and some not. I have learned to love writing, and I hope to write many more things in the future.

            As you can see I have done some astounding things in the last year and a half. I have started a business, I have held my own fashion show, I have joined a movement based art collective, and I would say that my creative writing skills have increased by ten fold. I have done many more things that have changed the live of everyone around me. I feel like it is my time to move on from CMU and move to a larger campus where my art can be more appreciated. I hope to start school as a junior as a Spartan, at Michigan State University.

Another Bio

I think i had to send in a bio when i was transferring from Central Michigan University to Michigan State University. This bio might have gotten me accepted to MSU.

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VanderMolen’s Bio:

            Nicholas Vandermolen is probably the coolest person you will ever meet. He is co-owner of his own business, Lombardo Barnyard. He is also consistently participating in sweetness. Just over a month ago he put on a fashion show. The fashion show was covered in such publications as CM Life and The Alpena News. Once he had a dance party in his basement. It was quote, “Awesome.” Another time he was called a “reclusive genius.” This may or may not be true, what is known is that he is quite possibly the coolest person you will ever meet.

            In eighth grade he won the “America and Me Essay Contest,” at his school. He never made it to regionals. 

Illuminati's subliminal messages.

I don't know what this was for.

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The illuminati and the subliminal messages they use to flaunt there dominance.

Since the beginning of time the illuminati has been a scourge to this world. They have systematically been destroying all that is good in this world. They hide in many guises, the freemasons, the knights templar, and even the shriners. Many names, but one evil. The illuminati represent hell on earth, and the fall of man from within. They were prophesied by people like Nostradamus, and are even foretold in the Bible. They are here, they are now, and they are all around us. We have no form of escape.

            The illuminati are slowly tightening the noose we call existence. They do this in many ways. Things like the war in Iraq, the recent hurricanes on Florida and the recent election campaign are all parts of there plan of world domination. They are influencing are thoughts and are lives on so many levels. Even small things, things we take for granted, are illuminati born, and used for destruction.

            Take a look at a dollar bill. The American dollar bill is filled with illuminati symbols. Just look at the pyramid on the back. Ask yourself what this means. The only explanation you will able to conjure is that this is an illuminati symbol. Through the dollar bill the illuminati flaunt there dominance on us by brandishing every symbol they can think of. The eagle represents the phoenix that has been a symbol of illuminati since ancient Egypt. Even the number of feathers, arrows, stars, and olive branches all represent different aspects of the illuminati. Do your research, check the internet, see how the illuminati flaunt there dominance via the one dollar bill.

            The dollar bill is not the only way in which they push there dominance upon us. Simple everyday things like street lights are actually secret illuminati symbols used to subliminally show there dominance. The street light is a modern day invention that can be seen in just about every town. Most believe that they are used to prevent traffic accidents. The fact that this absurd excuse is used to show how traffic lights are useful is proof positive that the illuminati have penetrated even our inner most thoughts.

            Like the dollar bill, traffic lights are inundated with illuminati symbols. The red of the stop light represents the red dragon. The red dragon is the beast talked about in the book of revelation. The red dragon is a major symbol in the illumine, it is argued that if the red dragon were another color, let’s say orange; the illuminati would not have as many people in there organization. It is the color red, like blood, that makes the red dragon seem ferocious. 

            The yellow on the traffic light is not really a yellow at all; it’s supposed to be gold. At the time of the street lights conception, the technology was not around to make gold colored lights, so they compromised and made yellow lights instead. Although it’s yellow, it’s still meant to represent gold. Gold is very important to the illuminati, gold is divine, and it’s also is a source of wisdom for the illuminati. Only true illuminati know how to siphon the great wisdom from a piece gold. An illuminati secret that is sure to never be revealed.

            Little is known about the meaning of the green on traffic lights. Green is a very sacred color to illuminati; only high level illuminati truly understand its meaning. As I am not a high level illuminati, I do not know the true meaning behind the color green. Some have speculated that it has to do with plants and trees, but I don’t believe speculation, I only believe fact.

            When you look at the color scale Roy G. Biv, this scale obviously representing the colors of the rainbow, red, yellow, and green are the first, third, and fourth colors of the color scale. When you designate each color a number according to the aforementioned color scale the numbers 1, 3 and 4 come up. 134, there is deep meaning it this number. 13 is a very sacred number in the illuminati. The number13 can be found in a number of places around the world. The 13 represents the illuminati on its most metaphysical form. The 4 is another sacred number of the illuminati. 4 represent the number of beings in the quadune being that is Satan. Christians believe that God is made up of three parts, father, son, and Holy Spirit. The illuminati believe that Satan is made up of four parts, Satan, Lucifer, Red Dragon, and the devil. The number 134 it self represents an important number in the illuminati. 134 represents the Saros 134 lunar cycle. Many illuminati worship the moon and its mind altering powers, knowing the Saros 134 lunar cycle is important to understanding the mind-altering effects of the moons gravitational pull.

            The illuminati are everywhere. They are in our towns, they are in our neighborhoods, and they may even be in our family’s. They also come in many forms, freemason, knights templar, the shriners, and many more. I don’t know their entire plan, and I don’t know all there secrets. What I do know is that there are an evil group of people that are trying desperately to control us by any means possible. They have even stooped so low as to use traffic lights to display there dominance. I may never see an end to the illuminati, but I pray every day for there down fall.

 Authors notes:

I am Nicholas A VanderMolen. One time I was in CMLIFE for a sweet fashion show I held. It is entirely possible that I may be the sweetest person you may ever meet. After reading my true essay you may be saying to your self that this was too long. I don’t care. I needed to tell of my knowledge, it could save lives. I couldn’t put all of the information into the jail like confines of a two page paper, I needed to extend this work of art to a meager three pages. Disqualifying me would lead me to assume that you are a member of the illuminati. Don’t lead me to assume that you are a member of the illuminati. I am pretty cool, and I own a small business, ask me stuff by e-mailing me at, vande1na@cmich.edu. I reply quickly.   

                   Nicholas A. VanderMolen

 

 

Team Jack Hammer

Lombardo Barnyard

How to get nailed in college

This story popped into my end when i was crossing the street at Central Michigan University. When i thought of it, it was the best story idea i had ever had to that point.

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How to get nailed in college

Danny was the type of boy that made a lot of rash decisions. If you ever need someone to get naked or drink a random liquid, he was your man. Once he stole a car, on a dare, naked. He wasn’t the brightest guy.

            Danny had another problem, he loved the ladies. Well, not necessarily the ladies. As he put it he loved to “get laid.” The summer of 2002 he got gonorrhea three times. He gets around, and he doesn’t care. You can call him whatever you like, a pimp, a slut, a hoe, whatever, he doesn’t care, as long as he is getting ladies.

            Last summer though he did something none of us ever expected, he got a girlfriend. He hasn’t had a girlfriend since high school. Since college started he followed the hit it and quit it approach. Sex’em up then kick’em out. Asides from the causal penicillin shots; surprising, this never really caused a problem. Now he had a girlfriend? Now he had commitment? Now he had to talk? How would this last? Well, it didn’t. It turned out Jenna was only in town for the summer. Then after that she was going to school in Italy. Before she left for Italy, Jenna broke up with Danny. It was messy, it was bad, and it was hott. Luckily, Danny got back to his old routine pretty fast.

            That year I lived with Danny. We should have had a revolving door. There was a new girl every night. It was out of control. The joke is Danny still cared about Jenna. He wanted her back, now. I swear every other girl that came home with him was named Jenna, or Jen, or something like that. It was pretty sick. He totally wanted her back. Sometimes, he would just start talking about her. He would get all emo on me and whine about how he wished he was with her. It was horrible, between the whining and the banging I could never get any sleep. This happened all year.

            Summer came, and so did Danny, and eventually he moved on. By this time his wild sexcapades were slowing down. It was still rampant, but not by Danny standards.

            One day, Ryan, our friend from high school came to visit. When we were seniors in high school, he was a freshman. Now that he graduated he was going to come to our school. We wanted to show him a good time before he came in the fall. So we went out crusin’ for babes.

            Cruzin' for babes is pretty fun, we mostly just drive around and honk at girls. It’s a good time, but, this time wasn’t. You see, this night Danny saw someone quite unexpected. He saw her. He saw Jenna. We were at a stop light and directly across the street in her car was Jenna. She didn’t notice us; I think she was checking her make up or something. Danny pointed her out and hastily explained how this was his only chance. I didn’t really get what he was saying, then typical Danny style he did something stupid. The light turned green and without any warning he slammed head long into her car. I guess he thought that maybe he could talk to her that way, maybe get her number, well he was wrong. You see, the resulting crash was a five car pile up in which I suffered a broken arm, Danny got a concussion, Ryan got paralyzed and Jenna died.

            The next few weeks were horrible; I was incessantly questioned by the police. They were so perplexed about the situation, there was no alcohol, no motive, no real reason. I guess it was love. I went to Jenna’s funeral, I didn’t like her, but, she was dead. The saddest part about her funeral was the low attendance, for how easy she was, few people attended. Danny was in a horrible state, constantly crying, I later heard he tried suicide. Being Ryan was under eighteen at the time, and his parents were both attorneys, Danny got nailed pretty hard. He got sent to prison.

            Last week I visited him and he looked in rough shape. He had bruises on his body and I could see the dried tear stains on his face. While I was talking to him I heard two guys arguing over how much toilet wine Danny was worth. I think he was worth more then what they settled on. He told me how no one visits, not even his family. They’re all mad at him for what he did. They can’t believe his reasoning. Some say the true reason was because he was the only girl that took his heart. What ever the reason Jenna was dead, Ryan was paralyzed, and Danny was in really bad shape. Well, at least my arm healed.      

Halloween: The Anti-gay Holiday

I wrote this one time for some contest in some gay magazine in East Lansing, MI. I'm still waiting for a reply.

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Halloween: The Anti-gay Holiday

 

Badly carved pumpkins, four feet tall vampires, middle-aged adults trying to scare 8 year olds, butt-loads of candy, sugar induced indigestion followed by 30 minutes of diarrhea. These are the shapes and sites of Halloweens. The one holiday we have left that still retains at least a few subtle reminders of its former pagan beginnings. The day when ghost and spirits possess small children, and the greed of our youth over flows in a lust for skittles, snickers, and sex. (Sex being a metaphor for the rampant sugar lust that embodies each and every child on the night of all hallows eve.) Halloween, a day of fun, candy, and good old American values; but it also hides something more sinister for us in the gay community. It hides a secret training rite that has been past down for ages, a training that may be the reason why coming out of the closet is so hard.

            On the surface Halloween is a great ceremony of candy and the giving spirit of America. In our modern times war and hurricanes, where the spirit of giving is needed more then ever, our focus often zeros in on the giving and receiving portion of Halloween. Yet, us queers should be more focused on what is really going on. We need to be aware of the underhanded subterfuge are American culture is handing our youth, and feeding to the International gay and Lesbian organization, via this so called holiday of giving. Our eyes, our very powerful queer eyes need to be focused on the costuming and disguising aspect of Halloween.

            What republicans, Christians, and right wing ‘moralist’ spew at us is the giving aspect of Halloween; but what about the costume portion of this anti-gay holiday. Have we all overlooked this blatant use of disguise? To get and to receive candy, a child must hide their true identity; they must cover up their ideas, their morals, and their soul. They have to put dark face paint on their rosy cheek, and put disgusting, sometime blood covered linens over their soft child skin. You see, this disguising of self, this covering of the natural being of a person, simply in an effort to get what everyone else is getting, is a metaphor, for how us gays are treated in America.

            You see as gays we are labeled as second class citizens. Our fashions, our speech, and even our demeanor is automatically labeled as second rate. We can’t go to church, we can’t have a family, and we can’t participate in normal middle-class society with out hiding our face, covering our self, and being someone we’re not. In the same way, Halloween is training out youth to hide their true selves. You see, Halloween is changing the cognitive outlook of all our youth, in such a way that teaches them to hide their differences, be who they aren’t, and to not be gay.

            When I found out I was gay, I wanted to tell everyone. I wanted to tell my parents, I wanted to tell my friends, I wanted to tell my god. But, I realized that if I did I would be labels a sinner, a heretic, and a fag. I would be kept from everything I loved (i.e. my lover, cartoonist Rick Boven). When I realized this, I had to hide my true self; I had to become someone I wasn’t. I had to put on the metaphysical make-up of a straight teenager, and the artistic mindset of a brain-dead frat boy. When I did, I fooled everyone. I fooled my friends, my parents, hell, I’m sure I fooled god. I was a natural. It wasn’t until I grew in to a true patriot of gay rights, did I find where I learned these disguise skills. Where did I learn to be someone I wasn’t? Where did I learn to hide my very being in such a convincing manor? Then, while participating in a gay/straight out reach program in downtown Lansing, I realized where I was taught to hide my homosexuality. Not at church, not at school, and not at home. I learned it at Halloween.

            The anti-gay training ritual known as Halloween is a holiday/training program built by Christians, Republicans, and the anti-gay agenda, to keep queers from ‘coming out of closet.’ It is a carefully constructed event that targets children before puberty, all in an effort to equip them with the tools they need to hide their queer self-nature. It equips and instructs young child on how not to be gay. It gives them the tools they need to run from their true god given identity.

            Coming out is hard enough, I know. It is a scary time of uncertain change and indefinite change. But, coming out is the most important, and most liberating moment of any ones life. It is a moment that shouldn’t be denied from the youth of America. Yet, every time we give a child a piece of candy, every time we positively condition a child for wearing a costume on Halloween, we telling them, that it is ok to hide their true self, that it is ok to hide their sexuality. Like Pavlov’s dogs, when we give candy to children on Halloween, we are subconsciously conditioning them to hide there true self, and to not be gay.

            This Halloween, when you give a young boy or girl candy, and you see their smile, know that behind that smile is a homosexual soul crying, for to them, what must seem like an eternity.   

 

By: Nicholas A. Vandermolen

 

Contrary to what the article says, Nicholas A. Vandermolen is actually a heterosexual, conservative Christian.

Chapter of life

I used to like this girl back in my hometown. Here's a story i wrote for Jason Polan one time for some reason about it. 

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A scene from summer

Swing back and forth on the swing set did nothing to smother the burning urge of confused love I was having. It didn’t help that she was on the swing next to me.

            The sun was setting behind the church steeple and it was starting to get a bit nippy. It was around nine o’clock. There were about ten of us at the play ground that night. I was on the swing set with a few other people. Next to me was Mary. Next to her where a few other people. I was on the end. I was swing higher then everyone else. I was quite.

            As the sun went down and the game of pick up basketball ended, everyone started moving toward the tires. I stayed swinging. To my surprise so did XXXXXX. When the last of the swing set crew had joined the rest of the group at the tires, I decided to make my move.

            “XXXXX, I…ahh. Need to talk to you.”

            “Then say it.”

            At that very moment YYYY, XXXXXX’s brother walked over. I couldn’t say what I wanted to say in front of him. I wanted to talk to XXXXXX alone. This was my last opportunity before I left, or at least, pretended to leave.

YYYY, not now. I screamed in my head.

With a dry throat, shaky hands, and a stomach that felt like it just got off the grav-i-tron, I said, “Well I wanted to…ah. Um, you know, ah. Well,..”

            “Nick just say it. He’s family.” XXXXXX sternly said.

            YYYY. Leave.

            “ahhhh. um…” I couldn’t complete the sentence. I didn’t know what to say. It was chance that this happened. I was lost, in the conversation, and, in my mind. I just wanted YYYY to leave.

            “Fine, then it’s not important.”

            YYYY, please leave, I just want to talk to XXXXXX for a second. I feel like I’m dieing.      All I could get out was a sigh. I started swinging. I felt like an idiot. I felt so stupid. I can’t even talk to her. How could I expect her to, love me.

            Hug me. Hold me… I’m such a screw up.

            I continued to swing. I guess I thought if I went high enough It would all go away; this embarrassing conversation, this embarrassing love, and this embarrassing summer. To my surprise, XXXXXX just sat there at her swing. Then, with out saying a word the entire time, YYYY, walked away.

            Thank you Lord, thank you lord. You can do it.

            I slammed my feet to the ground for an abrupt stop. I didn’t want XXXXXX to leave. I kicked dust ever where.

            “XXXXXX, I just wanted to talk to you alone.”

            “What nick.”

            Ouch. 

            “It’s just about, you and me. Um…ever since that one time. You know. I just can’t stop. Um, you know, you and Brent. Last night. I can’t…” My voice was shaky, I didn’t know what to say. Was I even talking.

            Hug me.

            “Nick spit it out. If you don’t stop talking in code I’m just gonna leave. I can’t read your mind.” She seemed mad.

            Think. Calm down. Think. Just say what you wanted to say.

            I took a deep breath.

            “ok, look. Um…ever since I told you I liked you I can’t stop thinking about you. I know you don’t like me. I know this. I’m trying to move on, I…I can’t. I just can’t get you out of my head.” My voice was so shaky. I was sweating. My heart was racing. I felt so stupid.

            What a fuck up.

            “Well, what do you want me to do about it.”

            Just hug me. Kiss me.

            I sighed. “I don’t know.” My contacts were loosing there dryness. “um…I just wanted to talk to you. I, thought it would help. I didn’t know who to talk to. My mind is just so crazy right now.”

            “Why didn’t you talk to Janna. (SOME DUDE) talked to Janna when he like me.”

            Cuz I got balls.

            “I don’t know, I just thought this would help. Every time I see you, I can’t stop thinking about how to get you to like me. Lately, it’s been getting worse. Even when were not together I can’t stop thinking about you. I just want it to go away. I feel like a…frig…fuck’n Junior higher.”

            Grow up. This doesn’t happen to anyone else.

            “Nick, this is awkward.”

            “I know. Do you think this is easy for me. I can’t make it go away. I have tried everything. I have been praying about it for so long. Every time I see you, I am either thinking about how to get you to like me or praying to God to make it stop. It won’t go away. I’m so confused.”

            XXXXXX, hug me.

            “Nick, I don’t think I can talk about this anymore.”

            “umm, I should go.”

            “No, you, you don’t have to leave.”

            “I have to go. I’ll see you in like a week… Bye.”

            There go your chances.

            I got off the swing. I didn’t feel any better. I needed to go. I was a few steps away when XXXXXX said, “Nick.” I turned around expecting a some sort put down. Something to make me cry, more. “I care about you.”

            “I know.”

            I know.

            I made a B-line to my car. I saw my friends at the tires. I yelled to them. “See yea, I gotta go, I don’t feel good. I’m going to Grand Rapids. I’ll be back on Monday. Don’t try and call. I won’t be home.”

            There was a collective, “see yea.” I knew they were thinking about what me and XXXXXX were talking about. They thought we were doing it already. I wonder what they were thinking now.

            I said I was going to Grand Rapids. I haven’t even told my parents yet. I need there car to get there too.

            I walked to my car and drove away. I went home, earlier then usual, lonelier then usual, and I felt depressed, as usual.

America Deserves Two Votes

   This piece was written as a hand out for a protest Lombardo Barnyard did at the footsteps of Michigan's Capital Building. It was handed out to at least 2 people.

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America deserves two votes

-As voters we feel disenfranchised. The two party system is restricting us from voting for who we really believe in. Voting our hearts would be a "wasted vote." Instead we're forced to vote for "the lesser evil." We believe that if every U.S citizen was given two votes they wouldn’t feel as pressured to vote for the “lesser evil.” In stead they would vote for one of the two main parties, and then with their second vote they would vote for a third party with which they truly believe. Having only one vote deters people from voting there true feeling. The media inundates us by saying that if we don’t vote for either a Democrat or a Republican then we have “wasted our vote.” No one wants to have a “wasted vote.” Wasting a vote would be “un-American.” With two votes there will be no wasted votes. It won't happen all at once, but in time, the media will start to give more attention to third parties, on account they are getting more votes. In time the third parties will become more main stream. Having two votes will create change in the debacle we call the American political system.

The F’n Vandermolen F’n Movie

Seriously, when did i write this? And what the heck was it for.

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The F’n Vandermolen F’n Movie

Theirs a Big party going on. Tons of people are having fun. People are taking pics of each other in the corner. Two people are wrestleing. Someone is stiring up a 2-gallon milk shake. Some people are laughing on the couch. Others are playing video games. They are being really loud. Vandermolen walks from the bathroom.

Vandermolen: Whoooo. I just dropped another bomb.

JR: Wo that was fast, you usually take like 20 minutes. What, no 90/10.

Vandermolen: Hey man, I may take a long time to dump, but what ever I’m friggn awesome. It shot out real fast because I have a job to do.

Jarmo: Shut up (sarcastically).

JR tackles Jarmo who is playing video games. They wrestle as vandermolen climbs on top of a coffee table.

Vandermolen: Alright! Alright. Everybody I have something to say.

Someone throws a can of DP at Vandermolen.

Vandermolen: I mean it, this is serious.

JR: You want a black eye.

Vandermolen: I said no.

Nate: Let him talk guys.

Vandermolen: Everybody. I love you all.

Jarmo: What a fag.

Vanderdermolen: Shut up. I mean this. Look guys this is the last night in the bacement. In only 2 weeks we graduate. Then, 2 weeks after that, I’m gone. I’ll be in New York. I have to be a beat nick poet. Hey lisa, take some pics of this, this is a big moment. My big good by.

Lisa: I’m tring to take picture of Nicole.

Nicole: Yea vandermolen, can’t you see I’m a super star.

Vandermolen: What ever, if anything I’m the super star.

JR: I’m gonna ride your coat tails right.

Vandermolen: Sure what ever. Wait. Guys this is my good bye.

Nate: Then do it.

Vandermolen rips his shirt off.

Vandermolen: Since the beginning of time, our lives have been moving toward this moment. It’s been a series of planed events all to put us here. With out those events we never would have a 2 gallon milk shake. We’d never have a this bacement, and Jarmo, you’d never find your love affair with Arnold schwarginagar.

Jarmo: Have you seen his bi’s.

Vandermolen: This bacement, this group of friends, this night. Guys I love it all. I just want to say that

Vandermolen walks/slips of the table and goes over to the milkshake.

Vandermolen: with out all of you I would be nothing more then a waste of human life. Guy you made me the superstar that I am. You made me. Thanks.

Vandermolen scoops sloopily form the milkshake. Raises it high in the air.

Vandermolen: Now, Let’s drink one of the worlds greatest drinks. A 2-gallon milkshake made in a sink. Drink up.

Everyone yells.

Vandermolen: Friends forever!

Everyone: Friends forever!!!

Montage of still of everyone having fun. People covered in milkshake. Wreslting matches. Charts of stealing overies.

Voice over.

Transformation Fashion Show Handout

The Transformation Show has been talked about enough. Here's the handout from the event.

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(Page 1)

TRANSFORMATION:

Fashion Show

“The LORD God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them.”

Genesis 3:21 (NIV)

 Now, Thru Vandermolen, God gives the next form of Fashion.

 Transformation.

(Page 2)

FASHION:

        These high-class fashions represent the next stage of earthly fashion. These are the next level of over-priced, over-hyped, textiles. 

They are what Paris Hilton, the Olsen twins, and Abercrombie and Fitch frat boys will soon be lusting after. Yet, unlike Urban Outfitter, Abercrombie and Fitch, etc. these fashions do something more. They Transform.

Yes, each and every fashion here changes from one form to another by only a few simple adjustments. These transformations are 

more then just your run of the mill reversible t-shirt, or zip-off pant legs. They are transforming on a massive level. They go further then anyone has ever thought possible. They excite the brain’s fashion neurons to a level not yet seen by modern brain monitoring equipment.

In the future, when the world is old and gray, and skeletal remains cover the earth like a small-pox covered blanket. These fashions, these American, over-priced, pieces of fabric that we will soon put all our trust in, will only be food for the moths and beetles. Yet, before that, they will be the fashions that the aforementioned upper-class superstars will lust after. Yet, unlike Abercrombie and Fitch, and their even filthier counterparts, these fashions, these transforming fashions, will not only be affordable, but sensible and smart.

The clothes you are about to see will be the mortar that holds the future societies together in temporary harmony.  

(Page 3)

FUNCTION:

                 There is more of a meaning behind this fashion show, then just clothes. The clothes are just the draw, the bait to get all of you gathered together. The clothes were just part of the show. More important to the show is the secret meaning that has secretly run through the entire fashion show.

         The true function of this fashion show is not to show off the future fashions, but to make a metaphor for what is happening in my life. In the very soul of an artist. I am transforming.

         For an unspecified amount of time I have been changing, mutating, amalgamating, morphing. I have been becoming something more then a man, something more, then a friend, something more then a prideful sinner. What that is, what I am becoming, even I do not know. Yet, what I do know is that this event is not only a fashion show, but a proclamation of my change. A ceremony that will shine my transformed body to the world. A media outlet for the transformation that is happening in the very darkest regions of my soul.

         From the moment I complete my transformation I will be a new. I will no longer be the boy you all knew. I will be a new man; and you will be a new people. In time, we all will be a new people. In time, we all will transform.

Vandermolen

8/9/05

 (Page 4)

            Check These Out:

 Rick Boven’s New Book

“Message on the Pavement”

www.cafepress.com/rickboven

 Lombardo Barnyards new book…Coming soon.

“Lombardo Barnyard: Year One”

 Go to SCF (Spartain Christain Fellowship)

Tuesdays at 7:30 on the MSU Campus

101 North Kedzie

 www.Anathallo.com

 www.masonproper.com

 www.Rickboven.com

 E-mail Nick Vandermolen @

Nick.vandermolen@gmail.com

 E-mail Lombardo Barnyard @

Lombardo.Barnyard@gmail.com